When couples turn to therapy, it is often after they’ve been arguing for months or even years and are looking to therapy as a last resort to save their relationship. By this time, they have often settled into a pattern of predictable arguments over the same issues and seem doomed to repeat the same fight over and over again.
Couples therapy can give people the chance to start anew and work with an unbiased third party to assess and truly work on thei parcoach r relationship. That being said, therapy won’t do the trick if both parties aren’t willing to do the work. Both individuals must be open to speaking honestly about their wants and needs, listening to each other, and keeping an open mind.
Here are some tips to making your sessions more productive and ultimately successful:
Open Communication
Everyone has heard that communication is one of the most important things in a marriage or serious relationship. So what if you and your partner have really tried to communicate with each other but simply don’t see eye to eye? In relationship counseling, a counselor can work with you to learn how to more effectively communicate with each other – to express your thoughts and feelings, listen without judging, and really work together to hear what one another has to say.
A crucial part of couples therapy is for both participants to feel comfortable enough to speak frankly about their problems within the relationship. This is a time for honesty and for setting aside your anger. Communication is a vital part of a healthy relationship, and it’s a two-way street. Being able to express your feelings and then truly be able to also listen to your partner’s concerns is a huge first step toward mending your relationship.
Open Disagreements
Though disagreements are what many couples are trying to avoid by coming to therapy, having a disagreement in an open, healthy way can be therapeutic. No two people are exactly alike; differences in opinion are bound to come up from time to time. In couples therapy, partners are able to learn better methods for having arguments, like agreeing to not yell or call each other names, and letting each person make their point without the other interrupting.
It’s okay that you and your spouse don’t agree on everything – you’re both individuals. The key is working with a therapist to find out the reasons behind your ways of thinking, and how to reach a compromise. Through couples therapy, people can learn how to disagree without blowing things out of proportion, an invaluable skill that will do wonders to help your relationship.
Do your homework
It’s common for therapists to send couples home with assignments to work on between sessions. Doing these assignments is a vital part of your couples therapy treatment. Putting into practice what you learn in therapy is a huge part of getting your marriage to work. While it’s great if you’re making progress in therapy sessions, real life isn’t overseen by a calming, neutral therapist. For your relationship to have a chance at survival, you need to use what you’ve learned in therapy and apply it to situations in your everyday life.
For couples therapy to be successful, both partners must approach therapy with an open mind and a willingness to accept each other’s differences. After all, it’s the unique qualities about each of you that lead you to fall in love in the first place. By resolving to speak honestly, listen without judging, and undertake your therapist’s assignments, you will be well on your way to improving your marriage.